A Daughter Finally Learns the Truth About Why Her Mother Abandoned Her | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN


I was told, I think my mom and
Michael Singer, I don’t know, were on drugs. And my grandma said that she
asked you because she had me. And you said, yeah. They came and got me and
that’s how I ended up with her. You abandoned me. IYANLA: Is that how
you remember it? No, it’s not. IYANLA: How do you remember it? When I went up
there, she asked, my mother asked me
to come up there. I was two weeks from having you. She asked me again, to
come up there and have you. I said, OK. Go up there, stayed just
about six weeks old. I’m ready to go
back to Kansas City. She got upset. She was demanding me,
trying to hold me. I have you in my
arms and she tried to take you out of my arms. So I’d kind of like
grabbed her wrist. She said, are you
trying to hit me? No, I ain’t going
to never hit you. But this is my child. So I finally got away. She calls me once we
get in Kansas City. And she says to
me, oh, the doctor said I’m going to have a heart
attack if I don’t get Kizzie back, Laronda, I promise you. I trust her. I said, OK. She came get you the same night. When I came back up
there to get you, it was a big argument with her. She just took over. Were you on drugs at the time? No. I was not on drugs
when I had you. I got on drugs after
Melvin was born. She’s not angry at you. She’s angry at her mom. Do you get that? Yeah. IYANLA: But she had her. You never went back and got her
because then you got on drugs. When I went back several
times to get Kizzie, it was, I’m going
to call the police. She got documentation,
and all this. And it was just a big fight. And she had programmed
this girl, put stuff in her head, what to do wrong
if I show up on the scene, and all that. And there was times
when I would come in there and on your teenager
years, when I come in there. And it was almost
like if I was getting to become close with you,
she intervened in that. I’ve got put out. And I always thought because she
didn’t want me to be with you or close to you. I know. There was times where
she would teach me, I remember when I was
in grade school that– Take your time. It’s OK. [INAUDIBLE] That if my mom ever
came to the school, that I was supposed
to scream and holler and draw attention to myself
so that she wouldn’t take me. Grandma didn’t, she
didn’t hug on us. I got beat too. There was a time I couldn’t
dress out for gym because I had welts and stuff on my back. Did you know she
had been through that? No.

99 comments

  1. I'm looking like what. I'm getting rid of them books. I'm not living like that. Not after what I Julianna went through. I know what I deserve out of this life.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  2. We could order together but they don't tell nobody or ask. I just come down stairs and see a pizza oh who ordered

  3. Similar to what happened to me when I was a couple weeks ago n I’m 58 years young n I’m still dealing with this! Secrets n lies of a family 🤔

  4. My grandmother almost did that to my parents. When I was born my parents were in there late teens like 17 and 18. And they had my brother before me but when I was born they had no idea what I was. I was a surprise baby in both gender and also my parents weren't planning on a second child. So when I was born my grandmother told my parents you are too young to be having two children let me have this one. I know how to take care of kids! I have a stable job and everything. My parents were very close in giving me up but decided not too. To this day I hear my grandmother repeat the story just for fun. I laugh we all laugh but I never thought it was serious tho. I just imagine what it would have been like not to grow up with my brother and than the sisters after me. I would have been lied too and everything it's a big eye opener now.

  5. like…its obviously…damaging to part child from mother for both parties. there is a reason that she grew in HER stomach, not her grandmas.

  6. I don't believe her. I think she is trying to avoid taking responsibility for not being able to be a mom. I'm not saying the grandma is good but I feel the mom failed her child

  7. The grandmother sounds narcissistic. My mom did something similar a while ago when I first cut her off. Would call me and say she was going to kill herself if I didn't come home.
    Manipulation at it's finest.

  8. I think Kizzy is hurt the most. No mother figure, no father figure, abusive grandmother. At least the boys at some point had each other, she seems like she had no one there for her, and she's a beautiful young lady

  9. I literally dont understand why the grandmother did this. Im lost. Idk if its because Im Haitian? My grandmother never acted like that. I dont know family who acts like that. Sounds like a narcissist. I see a lot of people in the comments talking about slavery and stuff. AND she beat the child she stole, to the point she could not wear gym clothes??? That really made me cry. Why do all that to beat her? Just want to control the mother in every way? The most Haitians do is treat you like a maid. They do beat you if you dont clean and stuff. Some Haitian parents feel you owe them cuz they birthed you. My BDs mom treated him like a slave boy. Had to rub her feet till she was satisfied or get slapped. Petty things she should have had a MAN to do. 🤨 She still does it to her youngest son. 🙄 And if you ain't no kin to them, good luck. I think this is personal not cultural. Unless someone can enlighten me.

  10. A lot of grandparents do this. A family member of mine is going thru this now with her childs father's mother. She's been trying to take over and act as his mother since he was born. She tells my relative what to do with her own kid. The child's Father (her son) is a deadbeat dad. He barely does anything with his kid and barely acknowledges him. My relative didn't go to courts to make trouble and he barely gives her any money. My relative allowed the grandmother to spend time with him on weekends and vacations but it wasn't enough for her. She literally started to act as the mother. Showing up at school and wanting him during the week. I told my relative she's gonna try to take him from you. Sure enough she called child services and complained and told blatant lies. They came and found nothing. She is still dealing with her. My relative cut off all contact and the harrassment has escalated. This kind of behavior only damages the child. But these grandmothers don't care. They truly think they should be the parent. Its like some type of mental illness.

  11. It’s sad I believe the mother because some mothers back then was very controlling if they think u made one mistake …..Honor Thy Mother n Father !

  12. It makes sense Laronda expressed how how mom beat her as a child and she was terrified of her mom so if her mom manipulated her n took her child that trauma n fear from her child hood was still there she was still scared to death of her mom n couldn’t work up the courage to take her child back

  13. You’d think if the grandma wanted Kenzie so bad she’d give her a better life but she’s beating her and not like a whooping you did some she had whelps on her

  14. Kizzy couldn't leave any how…Maybe if she gave her another name she could have got her…
    KIZZY means : STAY PUT
    SHOULD HAVE LEARN THAT FROM THE
    MOVIE ROOTS.

  15. Man every single person has a twin in the world so interesting!! Dont have to be the same race either,amazing how God created each of us !!!!!!

  16. I’m glad the daughter got to hear her mom’s side. However, if she truly wanted her daughter she would’ve taken her. There is no excuse.

  17. Sometimes you must forget the past, go on with your life, and get away from toxic and destructive family members. I did the same. I never look back, and I'm not even consider a family some ppl that i will never have a relationship. I put all of them in a grave and walk away, they don't deserve my time, my tears, my thoughts. And it worked good for me. Do the same girl, try to forgive and forget

  18. I don’t believe the mother. If you were truly sober and wanted to be a mother then NOTHING would stop you from being there for your child!

  19. This is sad. And you can tell they both were telling the truth. I gotta watch this whole episode because the pieces I’ve seen this family has been through it

  20. The daughter is quite lovely so the grandmother did a good job raising her. The mother is saying the right things but is not maternal at all.

  21. Older generations got issues. I know the women in my family do. Never understood why they are so controlling and mean. Want to take over other people lives and tell them what to do. Just plain evil sometimes.

  22. My mother always said,grand folks don't give u back ur kids. Therefor don't give them ur kids no matter what😉! They try 2 take my first born l said,NO! 😄

  23. Damn you give your child to your mom thinking she's helping and yet you come to find out that she's abusing your child while trying to keep her away from you. I feel so bad for the young lady. And this is why some woman don't have female friends or don't know how to have them because the females in their lives are vicious.

  24. My mom tried to take my son. I called my favorite Aunt and she called and gave my mom the business. Thankfully i had someone to help me.

  25. Dear sister ,the only thing you need in your life with your mother is Jesus Christ in your heart,nothing else .

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